Shopping and Confidence

We have been conditioned as women to believe certain things. In fact, men have been conditioned too.  We have allowed some insensitive people who are trying to make money tell us what is funny at the expense of the dignity and respect of both men and women. It isn't simple...it is all very complicated and the examples you will see in this blog are obvious, however, there are many more subtle ways we tell our girls they can't do anything they want. Think about it...look around the next time you are shopping...share your thoughts.

Chapter Two: Is She Mad at Me? Good Girl Communication Rituals

Okay, ladies.  If you are reading this book, you know what this chapter is about:  Assumptions.  Remember what happens when we assume?  Unfortunately, I just kept thinking, "Women do this.  Not just girls.  Not just high schoolers, but WOMEN do this too." 

We make assumptions and often it shakes our confidence.  We think we know what others are thinking about us by the way they look at us, talk to us, and act in general.  We do not always open our minds and seek to understand.  We often first ASSUME we understand instead of seeking to do so. 

The girls in this chapter are often their own worst enemy because they make an assumption about the intended meaning of an action which results in a kind of self fulfilling prophecy.  Here is the question I pose, mothers:  In what way do we let these types of actions impact us today?

It's Tough Being a Girl

As I continue to read the book and process, I also think about how tough it is to be a girl in today's society.  I think it is just as tough to be a boy, but women are objectified at every turn.  Magazines, books, television, video games, internet, and everywhere you can see.

How are we supposed to have a realistic image of what girls look like?  Act like? 

How are we supposed to bring up confident girls into young ladies that turn into strong able women? 

It seems like all forces fight against us some days - and frankly, it would appear that most people think when we ask these questions, point out the sexism, and challenge the current status quo, they aren't very interested in listening because we are being a little "crazy."

Thoughts?

The Myth of Girls' Emotional Intelligence Part 2

First, I apologize for my absence.  I know there are only few of you that regularly check in (and I hope to change that, so please, follow me and comment!), but I have had a lengthy absence due to craziness at home.  In addition, I am about 4 and 1/2 months pregnant, so there are some days I just crash.

Now on to the Myth of Girls' Emotional Intelligence.  I have been in education for 12 years now and sometimes, someone will write something, say something, or present something that gives me the clarity I have been searching for - even if I didn't know I was looking.  One portion of this chapter did that for me. The discussion about girls and how they have no empathy.  The comments where girls basically said, I am who I am and if you can't deal with it, tough s@#$!  The part where - it is your problem, not mine.

Some of it resonated with me.  I remember thinking as a girl and young woman that showing emotion was bad.  I wanted to be tough, and be one of the guys. However, it meant masking my vulnerability.  I like to think I made it through okay, but that was because I grew up in a stable environment with many advantages. These girls that are told to be tough, be strong, go kick some butt; however, they don't know how to do it without sacrificing themselves and how they really feel.

Girls sacrifice expressing themselves - or learning to express themselves appropriately when they are playing the role of tough girl.  If you are tough and don't care, then you don't have to express yourself and you get no practice at how it should be done without being self-destructive. The comments made by school counselors really hit the nail on the head.  I have seen this with girls that age.  What have you seen?